How do I plan for my death?
July 14th, 2020
You make a death plan. To talk about this, let's use tile as an example. If we're going to tile a floor, we have our end of life tiles.
We have our advanced directive tile that gives our power of attorney for health care. We also have all of our possessions and items listed. We have our bank accounts and passwords on another tile and our financial durable power of attorney on another one.
All of our paperwork is done and a death plan is the grout. It holds all of this information together.
The death plan talks about several things before death and several things after death. Often, they are the items that cause tension.
You want to consider what kind of music you want if you want music while you are dying. Are there certain smells that you want? Are there certain smells you don't want? Do you want it to be busy and noisy or quiet and still? Do you want food, what kind of food? I like to say it's the fun stuff, the party planning stuff. And if you don't want a damn thing, then you write that down and that's what happens. Well, that's what we hope happens.
If you have picked a healthcare agent who will truly, truly honor your wishes, then what you write down happens. So a death plan could be an amazing gift and can also in certain situations be a kick in the pants with your family. It's just the little things that people who love each other really fight over sometimes. When you write it down, someone doesn't have to say, "not red, she really liked purple," because in your plan it clearly says, "I want head-to-toe purple".
July 14th, 2020
First, really examine what your wishes are. Imagine a worst case scenario like being brain dead and dependent on life sustaining measures. Really think about what kind of life and quality of life you would want. Tell your family. If your family doesn't want to talk about it, make sure you put it in writing because it is so much harder for those decisions to be made once the event has happened.